The Human Experience: I’m Alive!

A wise man, Socrates, once said that “an unexamined life is not worth living” (Brainy Quotes). At first glimpse this statement seems quite simply and most acceptably feasible. However, upon unpacking the seven word quote one quickly begins to realize the dynamics of such an affirmation. How can something that is unexamined be appraised and found worthless? For to determine value, or lack thereof, surely the thing in question, the human experience, must be examined; and to be examined it must be lived! “I’m alive and the world shines for me today… I’m alive! Suddenly I am here today. Seems like forever (and a day)… Thought I could never (feel this way)… Is this really me? I’m alive! I’m alive!” (Xanadu). To actually live one must examine his, or her, own life. By conceptualizing the human psyche as the essence of humanness one begins to know themselves. Once the veil of social-conditioning has been lifted and the ego diminished, virtue and excellence can lead the way to the soul or the body’s entelechy; by “actualizing or realizing” our function we have “happiness” or eudaimonia, which is “being really alive rather than just existing: fully aware, vital, alert” (Dictionary.com). This is more than being free of cares or worries. Rather, it implies exhilaration – great suffering and great joy, great passions - it implies a full life. “I’m alive and the dawn breaks across the sky… I’m alive and the sun rises up so high… Lost in another world (far away)… Never another world (till today)… But what can I say? I’m alive! I’m alive!” (Xanadu). The ups and downs of joy and suffering; triumph and tragedy; love and longing; ecstasy and agony are most certainly products of our egos – our illusionary self is predicative of our illusionary world. However, all of these human emotions are of the utmost importance if we are ever going to rise above the low-lying fog and see from a clearer, higher perspective. T’ao Ch’ien learned through life experiences to trust his “instinct… for freedom” and leave monetary security behind to return to his farm where “hunger and cold may be sharp, but [whereas]… going against [himself] really sicken[ed him]” (Lawall, 1361). Without a period of time to live a life that “had so compromised [his] principles” he may not have known the shame that coincided with that type of life and therefore his understanding of his reason of living might have been postponed, possibly indefinitely (Ibid). “Suddenly came the dawn from the night… Suddenly I was born into light… How can it be real? I’m alive! I’m alive!” (Xanadu). Human suffering, tragedy, longing and agony are integral components of life, necessary for the learning or enlightenment required to question and reset our aim on worthy causes that are high above the world we thought we lived in. T’ao Ch’ien wrote, “It was my own doing that made my mind my body’s slave… And I am aware that what I do today is right, yesterday wrong” (Lawall, 1361). Man without such insights into human emotion and devoid of any inclination to truly examine and use them as tools to better understand the reason for living, is like a man in Han-Shan’s poems, “…living in the dust… trapped in a bowl… scrabbles round and round… never escapes… his cravings have no end… look at the wooden puppets, worn out be their moment of play on the stage” (Lawall, 1378 and 1379). On the other hand… joy, love, and ecstasy, while seemingly positive attributes of the human experience, in excess can be just as, if not more, detrimental to the ego as their counterparts tragedy, longing, and agony. Too much of a good thing bears exuberance which can advance to pride, jealousy, or obsession. Regardless of which side of the spectrum a person may find themselves traveling towards, to go too far from the harmonious middle and one is sure to encounter the appropriate human experiences that are necessary in order to discover just how far the mark has been missed. If one awakens to such lessons they are then able to rectify their course, quiet their mind, settle their soul and return to the middle point; which is closest to their true nature – God. Some people live unable to quiet their life. Being useful in society, as suggested by Chuang Chou, “their utility makes life miserable… they don’t get to finish out the years Heaven gave them…” (Lawall, 847). Without stillness their enlightenment remains just out of reach. If for example they are of no use, they tend to have more time to grow spiritually (Ibid). “If you are content with the time and willing to follow along, then grief and joy have no way to enter in…” (Lawall, 846). In some instances, worldly attachments are systematically removed from us, without any doing of own, until a time that we find ourselves alone. In loneliness there resides an opportunity for awareness. Po Chu-I wrote during his winter confinement: “My house is poor; those that I love have left me. My body is sick; I cannot join the feast. There is not a living soul before my eyes. As I lie alone locked in my cottage room. My broken lamp burns with a feeble flame; My tattered curtains are crooked and do not meet… As I grow older, gradually I sleep less; I wake at midnight and sit up straight in bed. If I had not learned the ‘the art of sitting and forgetting,’ How could I bear this utter loneliness? Stiff and stark my body cleaves to the earth; Unimpeded my soul yields to Change…” (Lawall, 1396). Setting here as I ponder. What is real, what will last? Truth is hard, patience impossible. I cannot help but wonder. Where did I come from, the past? Thoughts insecure are unstoppable. Is this my first or last life? Reincarnation some say, does not matter, you’re path is chosen. Slicing ahead like a knife. Swipe all the debris aside. I’ll be alright, I am not frozen. So strong are my convictions, I am real, I will last. Truth is heart, loving is possible. Not everyone appreciates or understands the necessity of the emotional rollercoaster ride; a life that is full of slow climbs, high falls, loop-d-loops, and corkscrews. Surprises to some are feared while others find them exciting. Many people prefer to be in the driver’s seat yet others don’t want to know when they’ll be turning left or right or when they’re going to stop. While life is most definitely uncertain, it is at the same time certainly meant to be lived! “I’m alive and the world shines for me today… I’m alive! Suddenly I am here today. Seems like forever (and a day)… Thought I could never feel this way… Is this really me? I’m alive! I’m alive!” (Xanadu). T’ao Ch’ien’s thoughts are most parallel to my own, for often I think, “May my friends be broken off and my wanderings come to an end. The world and I shall have nothing to do with one another… So little time are we granted human form in the world! Let us then follow the inclinations of the heart…” (Lawall, 1362). We are alive with a purpose to partake in all that human life has to offer; to learn and grow from those experiences – so we may transcend beyond our invented selves.