Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Virtue Is Colorless

Dark are the deceptive interpretations of blackness. The brightness of whiteness is blinding to some. Therefore blackness only exists left of center, just out of view. Inevitable, because blackness is obscured from vision, the eye’s ability to see clearly is thwarted and blackness is inadvertently misconstrued. A world which is seen with impaired vision invites illusion. Illusions are something that deceives by producing a false or misleading impression of reality (Dictionary.com). Realistically or not, blackness was feared. Blackness is not dark and whiteness is not light. The color white, with light present merely reflects color – and the color black, consists of all colors; virtue is colorless.

In “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” a young black girl’s grandmother tries desperately to gain the help of a local white dentist who would “…rather stick [his] hand in a dog’s mouth than in a nigger’s” (Angelou, 189). Here all parties have developed a sense of the whiteness and blackness in their world. Blurred vision plays a large part in the illusions present here. The Dentist sees the blackness as savage and beneath that of dogs. The young girl creates a slightly different illusion. She concocts an interesting account of her grandmother’s interactions with the Dentist because she chooses to view her grandmother as a black woman with powers that she herself, hopes to inherit someday. She is not yet completely knowledgeable of all aspects associated with whiteness and blackness in her time but she knew that it was not acceptable to God. “Let the whitefolks have their money and power and segregation and sarcasm and big houses and schools and lawns like carpets, and books, and mostly – mostly – let them have their whiteness. It was better to be meek and lowly, spat upon and abused for this little time than to spend eternity frying in the fires of hell” (Angelou, 131).

Harmony between all humans is encumbered with insurmountable obstacles with quandaries so complexly burdened with inequalities that a solution for all seems unfathomable. While everyone is legally obliged to obey laws and conform, doing so will not guarantee harmony, justice, or equality. Martin Luther King, Jr. proclaimed, “… there are two types of laws: just and unjust” (Charters, 29). Even laws that are immoral are expected to be followed but like St. Augustine, Martin Luther King, Jr. agrees that “an unjust law is no law at all” (Ibid). Aware that many laws were biased and completely arbitrary, Martin Luther King, Jr. was a man who vivaciously shown light on blackness, successfully exposing multi-layered depths of color-blindness. He promoted equality while displaying peace. He uncovered hypocrisies while exemplifying righteousness yet the many peaceful displays of protest did little to bring peace to the minds and hearts of either the oppressed or the oppressor.

Martin Luther King, Jr.’s words revealed differences in men by uncovering how the privileged, well-educated, cultivated, Christian Clergymen’s lack of actions were perfect manifestations of phenomenal demonstrations of hypocrisy. He clarified the differences between a man-made laws and natural, Godly ones; “a just law is a man-made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God… Any law that degrades human personality is unjust… it is morally wrong and sinful” (Charters, 30). An important ideology used to build our country’s democracy derived from God; the belief that all men are created equal. This concept was an essential element for the harmonious existence of a new land’s population. Our nation is ran by legislation derived from our constitution, written by men who were unable to comprehend the word men as plural for man – and “man” is defined by Dictionary.com as a member of the species Homo Sapiens or all the members of this species collectively, without regard to color or race. Those laws were written as just but were continuously subject to a white man’s interpretation, hence the implementation of legislation that is discriminately convoluted to solely benefit a specific class of society while oppressing all others is thoroughly unjust.

It is not genetics, geography, language, religion, education, attire, or possessions that elevate our spirits into the realms of humanity; but our virtue. It is our conscience and our courage to act upon what we know in our hearts and soul to be right and true. It is a strong man that holds to personal convictions that are true, regardless of consequence; and a weak man who continues to trudge forth in conformity, blatantly ignoring his wrongs inflicted upon others.

We are not born completely established; set like mortar and unchangeable. Our neurotic make up by nature is designed to grow, adapt to our environment, and learn from our experiences. We are made to comprehend and to work in abstract ways. We are not made for the mundane, the idle, or the stagnancy of stillness. No, we exist to excel in all fathomable ways. Our spirit is not limited by man-made boundaries. To stifle the spirit is to lead the soul to death. Malcolm X stood for freedom and he was willing to risk death to get that freedom. For without equality true freedom did not exist and individuality would remain oppressed.

Malcolm X was similar to Martin Luther King, Jr. in that he too was an advocate for equality between whites and blacks. The difference however was the tone of his delivery. In the “Ballot or the Bullet” speech he proclaimed, “We suffer political oppression. Economic exploitation. And social degradation. All of ‘em from the same enemy… it’ll be the ballot or it’ll be the bullet. It’ll be liberty or it’ll be death” (Charters, 75 and 79).

In 1968 a prominent public figure, Senator Robert F. Kennedy, addressed our nation regarding the hatred and violence between us. His speech contained powerful statements; “No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders.” “…violence breed violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleaning of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.” “When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies…” ("John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum").

Four decades have passed since Senator Kennedy earnestly articulated his stand on hatred. Still today, our Nation, our world, is teeming with racial issues. Regardless of where in the world we live, we are all born with a conscience; knowing right from wrong. Our insatiable desire for equality or control continues to consume us. Our essential bond, humanity, is rapidly deteriorating. Without humanity we are inhumane.

We Are One – “No matter who you are, where you’re from or what you were taught to believe in, be at peace with yourself and with everyone else” (We Are One).

Buddhism – “Hurt not others with that which pains yourself” (From the Udanavarga 5.18).

Christianity – “In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets” (Matthew 7:12 – NRSV).

Hinduism – “Do not to others which if done to thee would cause pain” (From the Mahabharata 5.1517).

Islam “No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself” (Sunnab).

Jainism – “In happiness and suffering, in joy and grief, we should regard all creatures as we regard our own self” (Lord Mahavir 24th Tirthankara).

Judaism – “What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow human beings. That is the law; all the rest is commentary” (Talmud, Shabbatƺla).

Native Spiritual Traditions – “Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves” (Chief Seattle).

Shintoism – “Be charitable to all beings, love is the representation of God” (Ko-ji-ki Hachiman Kasuga).

Sikhism – “Don’t create enmity with anyone as God is within everyone” (Guru Arjan Devji 259. Guru Granth Sahib).

Taoism – “Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain; and regard your neighbor’s loss as your own loss” (Tai Shang Kan Yin P’ien).

Many laws and much progress has been made since the 1960’s however, in our daily lives, in our interactions with others; neighbors, communities, counties, states, and countries, we continue to overlook the “Golden Rule”, which is possibly the most basic, virtuous universal rule. It is taught world-wide in nearly every religion, school, or philosophy. If this value cannot influence mankind to halt hatred and cultivate harmony, what can? To think that man-written laws and arbitrary democracy is the answer is utterly absurd. Democracy only works when virtue is present. So long as unjust laws are written, a system without virtue will do nothing to encourage harmony between people. No amount of respect, status, power, prosperity, education, freedom, or peace can change hearts of men to practice what they preach. This is a task that no one can accomplish for another. That revelation is saved for the man himself. Once man feels compelled to take ownership in himself, it is then that we can see true change.


Works Cited
Angelou, Maya. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Ballantine Books, 2009. Print.
Charters, Ann. The portable sixties reader. Penguin Classics, 2003. Print. Dictionary.com. 2011
Dictionary.Com. http://dictionary.reference.com/. 2011.
The Golden Rules. We Are One; Buddhism. From the Udanavarga 5.18; Christianity. The Bible. Matthew 7:12; Hinduism. From the Mahabharata 5.1517; Islam. Sunnab; Jainism. Lord Mahavir 24th Tirthankara; Judaism. Talmud, Shabbatƺla; Native Spiritual Traditions. Chief Seattle; Shintoism. Ko-ji-ki Hachiman Kasuga; Sikhism. Guru Srjan Devji 259. Guru Granth Sahib; Taoism. Tai Shang Kan Yin P’ien.
"Remarks of Senator Robert F. Kennedy to the Cleveland City Club, Cleveland, Ohio, April 5, 1968." John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum. John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, n.d. Web. 12 Mar 2011. .

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Fouling of Innocence - A Mix Tape

Little Wonders, Rob Thomas.
Pretty In Pink, The Psychedelic Furs.
Itty Bitty Pretty One, Screamin’ Jay Hawkins.
This Little Girl, Gary US Bonds.
We’re a Happy Family, The Ramones.
Cherish, Madonna.
Bubbly, Colbie Caillat.
Beautiful Soul, Jesse McCartney.
Dreams, The Cranberries.
Forever Young, Rod Stewart.
She’s a Beauty, The Tubes.
Perfect World, Huey Lewis and the News.
Don’t Talk to Strangers, Rick Springfield.
Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-dot Bikini, Brian Hyland. Simply Irresistible, Robert Palmer.
(She’s) Sexy & 17, Stray Cats.
Goodie Two Shoes, Adam Ant.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself, Georgia Satellites.
Waiting for a Girl Like You, Foreigner.
This Could Be the Night, Loverboy.
I Want to Know What Love Is, Foreigner.
Let’s Go All the Way, Sly Fox.
Heat of the Moment, Asia.
Promises, Promises, Naked Eyes.
Relax, Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
Paradise By the Dashboard Light, Meatloaf.
Cherry Pie, Warrant.
Torn, Natalie Imbrugila.
Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis.
Little Lies, Fleetwood Mac.
What a Fool Believes, The Doobie Brothers.
I hate Myself for Loving You, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
Harden My Heart, Pat Benetar.
I Don’t Wanna Be in Love, Good Charlotte.
Big Girls Don’t Cry, Fergie.
The Warrior, Scandal.
Party All the Time, Eddie Murphy.
Double Vision, Foreigner.
Lay Down Sally, Eric Clapton.
Pieces of Me, Ashley Simpson.
Throwing it All Away, Genesis.
Slip Slidin’ Away, Paul Simon.
Bluer Than Blue, Michael Johnson.
Let It Rain, Eric Clapton.
Bring on the Noise, Jo Dee Messina.
Get the Party Started, Pink.
White Lines, Grandmaster Flash.
Feel My Body, Headpins.
Lay Your Hands On Me, The Thompson Twins.
S.O.S., Rihanna.
Make Me Feel Better, Fabolous Feat, Ne-Yo.
Say You Love Me, Fleetwood Mac.
Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Pat Benetar.
Hell With Ya, Pink.
I Wanna Be Sedated, The Ramones.
Cocaine, The Grateful Dead.
Crusin’, Smokey Robinson.
Life in the Fast Lane, Eagles.
One Thing Leads to Another, The Fixx.
Wipe Out, Beach Boys.
Trouble, Pink.
Jailhouse Rock, Elvis Presely.
Family Affair, Mary J. Blige.
Bad Reputation, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
Misunderztood, Pink.
It’s My Life, No Doubt.
Ain’t None of Your Business, Missing Persons.
Had a Dad, Jane’s Addiction.
Runaway, Bon Jovi.
Cuz I Can, Pink.
Shut Up and Drive, Rihanna.
Destination Unknown, Missing Persons.
Life is a Highway, Tom Cochrane.
Must of Got Lost, J. Geils Band.
Walking in L.A., Missing Persons.
Lonely, Pink.
Sad Eyes, Robert John.
Not Hot to Trot, Von Iva.
Pitiful, Pink.
Please Mr. Please, Olivia Newton-John.
Help Me, Joni Mitchell.
Sharp Dressed Man, ZZ Top.
Father Figure, George Michael.
Stick With Me Baby, Robert Plant & Alison Krause.
Roll to Me, Del Amitri.
Midnight at the Oasis, Maria Muldaur.
Hot Child in the City, Nick Gilder.
Somebody Put Something in My Drink, The Ramones.
Toxic, Britney Spears.
Bad Company, Bad Company.
Spinnin’ Around, Jump 5.
I Love L.A., Randy Newman.
Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?, Rod Stewart.
You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet, Bachman-Turner Overdrive.
Strip, Adam Ant.
Money, Money, Money, ABBA.
It’s So Easy, Linda Ronstadt.
Rich Girl, Hall & Oates.
The Glamorous Life, Sheila E.
Noticeable Ones, Missing Persons.
Do You Wanna Touch?, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
Undercover Angel, Alan O’Day.
Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll, Ian Dury & the Blockheads.
Out of Touch, Hall & Oates.
Broken Wings, Mr. Mister.
So Far Away, Dire Straits.
Sex Slave, Dolla.
Just Like a Pill, Pink.
You Make Me Sick, Pink.
Hard Habit to Break, Chicago.
Haven’t Got Time for the Pain, Carly Simon.
Don’t Bring Me Down, Electric Light Orchestra.
Rikki Don’t Lose that Number, Steely Dan.
I Wanna New Drug, Huey Lewis and the News.
Hit Me Baby One More Time, Britney Spears.
Blown it Again, Daniel Bedingfield.
Living Dead Girl, Rob Zombie.
Stayin’ Alive, Bee Gees.
Got to Give it Up, Marvin Gaye.
Down on the Corner, Creedence Clearwarter Revisited.
Where the Streets Have No Name, U2.
Come and Get Your Love, Redbone.
Every Face Tells a Story, Olivia Newton-John.
Last Dance, Donna Summer.
Do You Believe in Love?, Huey Lewis and the News.
Can You Feel it Now?, Tremolo.
Eighteen, Alice Cooper.
Trippin’ Through the Universe, Black Man Clay.
D.O.A., Bloodrock.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Memoir: Five Years Consumed

You could hear the sizzle when the setting sun touched the salt water. The faint squawking of seagulls flying high above was in harmony with the warm breeze that whispered gently in my ear. The tiny sand granules under me were still warm from the day. Not many beach-goers were left, most of them had continued on and gone. It was coming to an end. I had pondered it thousands of times and looked at it from every imaginable angle. By the end of today, I would finally be free.

I have let go before. Granted the first time I was an unwilling participant. The first time happened as quickly as a flash of lightning, God made sure of that. While both end results were the same they were different. The first left me weak and the second made me strong.

The growing pains were excruciating and of the worst kind. Many nights I lay in my twin bed chilled from the winter air seeping though my window. My eyes hurting, drained and swollen too exhausted to manifest even a mole of a tear. My head full of every conceivable emotion, felt like it would soon explode if I was unable to find the relief valve soon. I needed it to stop. I needed sleep. I needed to get up and get to school on time. I used the radio to distract my chaotic mind and ease the aches. I ran so far away so many times with the Flock of Seagulls.

The numerous pains were regular visitors and the struggle with them constant. Just when I’d think it couldn’t get worse I’d be rudely introduced to a new one. I could make it all go away. I knew this. But still, I wasn’t ready to let go. Several nights I prayed to God asking him to slip me quietly into a coma. I desperately needed rest. I longed for peace. Nothing could make me happier than waking up months later to find it had all passed without any effort on my part. I became so accustom to lingering pains that eventually I went numb.

As far back as I could remember, not a holiday went by where I didn’t bake cookies for Santa. For people like me, who will forever be young at heart; the three weeks before Christmas undoubtedly makes December the longest month of the year! It had always been torture for me to see those beautiful, gleaming presents under the tree every day, and know, I had to wait. However this Christmas was different. We had the tree, the ornaments we were accustomed to, the shiny presents, the white snow, the warmth of a home, and the smell of fresh baked cookies; all the necessary ingredients were there, but joy was elusive to me. I felt no anticipation to tear through the red and green wrapping paper. No curiosity as to what Santa had left in my stocking. No surprise or feeling of gratitude for receiving the gifts.

My joyless Christmas passed with the season. So did the spring holidays, including my Birthday. They all nonchalantly came and went. As my high school graduation date grew closer I began to imagine a new life. Eagerness gently lapped at my conscience like calm waves on a secluded beach. Excited to leave this stagnant town, I was gone within two weeks of commencement. I traveled to the mid-west, partied with old friends, resided in paradise and made new friends. I worked my butt off holding down three jobs! My going, going, going consumed all of my time leaving none left to remember the pain. One year quickly passed.

I am happy; I am energetic; I am cured! The growing pains are gone. Dilemmas from the past are behind me. I am convinced that maturity, like an antidote, has successfully counteracted any past illness. However, my youthful confidence rendered me consciously oblivious to the lurking manipulation. My subconscious however, was completely aware of the present danger but the minuscule voice was too subtle to hear. Somewhat leery but highly elated, I paused before committing…

Secret vows in a small chapel and an island paradise could not keep me in remission. Less than one month passed and the disease was coming back. Yes, I knew the signs well. I’m a veteran. Puzzled as to why it was coming back I sought a Doctor. The initial appointment failed to shed any light on my predicament. I soon realized how stubborn the darkness was. It wasn’t as simple as flipping a light switch. I reluctantly succumbed to the notion that it would be a while before I could see.

For so long, letting go to me was accompanied with great fear. Slowly discovering and owning my weaknesses, my faults, and my mistakes culminated in me a profound strength. More permanent than a tattoo, this new insight branded my soul; an everlasting signature of virtue personifying dignity. The benefits gained from a lesson such as this, quickly diminish any pain associated with the learning.

With all fear factored out of the equation, I found myself desirous and unafraid of true independence. I now welcomed the end result. My anticipation of freedom grew greater as the time to let go grew closer. My heart began beating faster and stronger. I could feel it beating from the inside out, visible to others if they looked close enough. Unsurprisingly I managed to remain calm. Unlike times before, today I was in control of my emotions. Today, I did not need to prove anything to anyone. Today there would be no arguments, no detailed explanations, no pain, no more tears, and no more looking back. Today would be our last together.

I expected to see fury. I envisioned his strong arms reaching out, holding me against my will until I changed my mind, telling me that no one would ever love me as much as he did, but he didn’t. His eyes were blank, his lips slightly parted unsure of what to say. My reclaimed self confidence placed him in a dumbfounded state, if only for a moment. Then his square chin delicately quivered as mourning began to fill his green eyes, a routine I am familiar with. Only this time, my heart strings did not twinge. No, I wasn’t numb anymore, I knew what that felt like. All doubts and insecurities had been evicted, making room for new tenants. Self-love and self-respect now resided within me. No more vacancies. No more room for manipulation, jealousy, control, or belittling.

My personal boundaries were plotted and indestructible. My love so abundant that worry escaped me as love overflowed and poured out to the very person that had caused me so much pain. My inner peace was surreal; sanity, at last. He could no longer embed doubt in my mind. He was powerless to evoke an argument. I felt no need to blame him nor was I compelled to “fix” him. Responsible only for myself, my actions, my words, my decisions; finally I understood and believed how invincible I truly was.

Defiantly he pleaded, he promised and he asked for another chance. “I’m sorry, but five years of my life is chance enough for anyone.”